Hello. Who are you? Do you know?
Can't you tell me why you are the way you are?
Why do you do this, don't you think it is strange?
Friend, I am who I am and I know this is so. I have had
everyday of my life so far to learn and to grow. Many
things about me have changed since I was young; but one feeling
remains solid, consistent and strong.
This is wrong.
It is not me.
I am not who I should be.
This truth has rattled my bearings, stripped me to my core
and lain me naked upon its pure white altar and I have seen,
upon this altar of truth, this altar of my true self; I have lain
alongside my brothers and sisters and we have all found our
flesh to be false.
Alone, we have spent many empty nights with only our tear-soaked
pillows to comfort us. We have shown our grief and our pain through
the cuts on our wrists, the burns on our skin, the denial of food,
and the sweet release of drugs that take our realities away from us.
In unison, a chorus of grief stricken voices cry: We will not accept this!
We will not let the fears of others imprison us! No more will we live
without living in these empty shells; these masks; these prisons of
flesh, blood and bone! We will fight for our right to live as we must!
We refuse! We will fight!
The choice is made, the deciscion is over and our path is set. We climb,
we wait, we worm our way through the system; we pay.
We pay in time, we pay in Willpower; we pay with our family, our friends;
we pay with our lives.
Countless hours; countless amounts of money; daily payments of fear,
anxiety and hope.
We pay.
And for what? To appease the very society we live in is all but impossible
for we are taboo. We are untouchables, perverts, abominations in their views;
their unseeing views for they are blind. We seek no greater end than they,
nothing different or strange; our quest, our goal, is the same as any other
human being. Our pursuit is the pursuit of happiness. Our desires are simple,
to love ourselves. To no longer look at our reflections with sorrow, anger and
loathing. To walk in public with our heads held high, knowing that the world
can see us for who we are.
Society has dictated that our struggles are not enough, and so they place
more upon us. Many of our mothers, brothers, fathers, sisters, sons and
daughters are lost for being who they are. We are raped, beaten, and murdered
for being ourselves. We carry everyday, fear and anxiety.
This is who we are, friend, for I am only one small memeber of a much larger
family and we are strong. We have many who have traveled the distance and many
who still live confused, but we are strong.
We are born into this world like everyone else. Through our thoughts, feelings
and actions we isolate ourselves. Only then do we finally see who we really are.
We build our cocoons of clothes, family, hormones and friends. Inside the cocoon
are doubts and fears, hopes and longings; all racing about, building pressure
until finally it bursts.
We are reborn.
We emerge, the individuals that we knew we always were. The truth of our being
realized, we are free! Released from our prisons,
We are free!
We are children of love, children of hate, children of confusion, children of
patience, children of loss. We are the children of guilt, children of strength,
and children of hope.
We are the children of the butterfly.
